Lesson for life

Last week, I was coming back home from school. I was about to open the door when my dad suddenly opened it for me. A smile automatically came to my face and we said hello.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Um, to the hospital” His voice sounded normal as he replied, but I knew he was hiding his preoccupation, as he usually does.
“Why? What happened?” I asked again, curious.
“David got shot”
My mind went blank and my brain needed a few extra seconds to process my dad’s words, to actually get what he was saying. When I finally got it back together and realized what had happened, confusion entered my mind as the shock started to leave.
“What? What do you mean? Where?” I had so many questions I didn’t even know where to start.
David is my godfather. He has been one of my parent’s best friends since they entered college and he has been basically a part of my family since I can remember.
He is one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met and he absolutely loves to eat. He has a heart that I think it’s maybe too big for his own body. And let me tell you, he is not a small person.
After hearing how desperate I was, my dad started to tell me how it all happened.
“Some guys broke into his house in the morning and when David saw them, one of the guys shot him on the right side of his stomach”.
“Oh my God! Is he okay?”
“Well, before they left, the same guy shot him again, only, this time, in the head. Fortunately, the bullet went towards his ear. He’s alright, but he is going to have to stay in the hospital for quite a long time, plus, he almost dies. So mentally, he’s not okay”.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. One minute you’re alive and happy and the next, who knows.
On Saturday, I finally got the chance to go see him. I entered the room he was in and saw his mother. I said hi as usual but this time it felt a little awkward. This time, the air in the room was not normal. It felt kind of heavy, as if all the stress that had come along with the incident had mixed with it and made it that much more heavy. I continued my way towards David to say hello. But his face was different; the smile I usually saw in it was not there this time. He had bruises and those tubes they put into your nose with oxygen so you can breathe better. Not just that, but everything else surrounding him made him look so… bad. It made my heart ache a little.
He and my dad started talking, but he didn’t say much. He didn’t feel like talking. He looked tired and depressed.
“You know…” His eyes started to fill with tears and his voice was trembling. It scared me a little, I guess. I had never seen him cry before. “It’s funny, but when people say that you don’t know what you have until you lose it, they are so right. Things as little as going to the bathroom by yourself are so important. Just the pleasure of eating every day, in peace, or being able to work and leave a normal life is so basic but yet so important. And we don’t realize it. We don’t realize how wrong we are by giving material things the importance we should be giving to other things, like family and friends and love. Everything else is just extra”.
I felt like crying too because I knew how right he was. And we hear people say that over and over again but we never listen anymore.  We get used to having everything and, still, we are always asking for more. We should be grateful every day, just because we are given one more chance to a new take a step towards our dreams, or one more chance to watch the sun set, or one more chance to tell people how much we love them.  
When I realized how much it would mean for me to lose David, I realized that things can change when we least expect it. We can lose people in a blink of an eye and then regret things we didn’t say or didn’t do. So live every day as if it was your last and love the people around you as strongly and truthful as you can. Even though is hard now and then, trust me, at the end, it’s always worth it.

Fading

When I turned twelve, my life suffered a drastic change. I moved to a new city, mostly looking for a new lifestyle, a better education and more opportunities. I entered a new school and met new people, and I think at first I was very open to new friendships. But as time passed and I really started to see how different my life was, I suddenly found myself crying every night, wishing I could go back, wishing that something would come up so that I wouldn’t have to go to school the next morning.  I felt alone, with a lurid feeling inside me, and I missed my friends more than anything. Although I still talked to them and whenever we went back to visit, we would hang out, our relationship was never the same. It just got worse with time. Each day, we would talk less than the day before. It was like that with all of them, but the one that for sure ripped my heart apart was my best friend Gabriel. He started acting really weir and different, as if I had done something wrong. Whenever I asked him if there was something going on, he would tell me everything was fine.
One time, I went to my old home for the weekend. Mike and I went to the lake, as usual and we were sitting next to each other, appreciating the amazing sunset for what might have been the millionth time.  As I sat there, I started to wonder how, even though our life, out habits, our friends and even we can change, some things never will. Watching the sun fall behind those two mountains, I realized how beautiful this scene was. Flashbacks started to flow through my mind, sort of like the way the waves in front of me did. I had spent my whole life watching that same scene and I had never realized how much it meant to me. I didn’t want to leave, ever. I just wanted to leave my sadness and every little thing that was affecting me there. Leave it there and let it sink under that big pool of water. I didn’t want to hear people telling me the same “Everything will get better” I had been hearing the past month, I just wanted to hear the waves crashing against the shore.  I didn’t want to breathe the city buses’ gray, dirty smoke, I wanted to breathe fresh air. I didn’t want to see traffic and buildings, I wanted see the same sun set I had been watching since I was a little kid. I didn’t want to feel anything but water running through my feet. This felt like home. That was the feeling I had been missing all this time.
Gabriel’s voice broke my concentration all of a sudden. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I felt so close to him, so safe. I felt like he understood, and I hadn’t even said anything yet. “It is” I replied, honestly.
We talked for hours, until it was dark. I cried practically the whole time. I could see how hard he was trying to hold his tears back, but after a while, he just gave in.
Little rain drops started to fall, melting with my tears, the same way it did with Gabriel’s.  I still remember what he told me that night. “You know how great we are, Des, you know I love you and that you are my best friend. I’ve missed you like you can’t imagine, but you also know things are different now, people move on and change.” He stopped talking for just a second, and then continued. “I’m not saying we have to stop being friends, but the truth is we won’t be able to be that close. I want you to know, still, that no matter what, I’ll be here for you whenever you need me and that I will always love you.”
My heart ached and I felt horrible because, deep inside, I knew he was right. Things change and its part of life. We can’t do anything about the fact that change and movement constitutes the reality of our being and that we are constantly in process of becoming something else, of growing. At the end, it’s part of what makes us who we are.
Our relationship did change after that, but I still remember that cold night of February, where I laid in his arms, knowing that no matter what, we would always be there for each other, forever.